Before I begin, this is my disclaimer: I am actually really really tired of being negative about Zayn. I do not enjoy it for one second, no matter how much people like to believe I do. I don’t like feeling bitter towards him or disillusioned or feeling a sense of despair whenever I think of him, or even pity when I see his body language and expressions on these blatantly staged PR pap walks with Gigi. I don’t like it. It doesn’t make me feel good to criticize him, mainly because I’m still very fond of him. Unlike Louis or Gigi or anyone else who I regularly criticize because I am not fond of them.
I miss when I used to adore Zayn and fawn over him and his beauty and music everyday on my IG stories on my old accounts. I miss when I used to think he loved Harry deeply and would do anything for him. I genuinely used to believe that (as any of my old followers could attest to.) It feels awful realizing how wrong I was about Zayn’s perspective on Zarry, and it hurts coming to the conclusion that his affection for Harry was not strong enough to inspire him to be brave. Or at the very least, his love for Harry wasn’t strong enough to dissuade him from engaging in these over-the-top PR circuses since 2013.
But alas, I was wrong about Zayn and I admit that. And I’m tired of talking about it, but people keep asking me to address certain aspects of this relationship, like this song “Hurt” and the notion that Zayn is really the victim based on a few of his other songs (eyeroll.) Sorry, but I’m allergic to bullspit.
Why I’m not overly concerned about Zayn feeling “hurt” in this relationship:
1. I believe Zarry BOTH hurt each other. I have always said that from day one. End of story. But the things Zayn has PUBLICLY done that hurt Harry far outweigh any theoretical, unproven, unsubstantiated things Harry may or may not have done to hurt Zayn behind the scenes.
2. Harry never cheated on Zayn, because they were never a monogamous, conventional couple. Hence JALBOYH and hence why you never hear me saying Zayn cheated on Harry with Perrie or Gigi or any of the other SUBSTANTIATED random hookups he has had over the years. He and Harry are not a normal couple and they aren’t married.
3. Harry is not a liar or a selfish, deceitful person (as some of Zayn’s lyrics may seem to suggest to the anti-Harry folk.)
1 – Zarry Hurt Each Other.
Sure we don’t know the whole story or all the nuanced details of what happened between them over the years (duh) but no one ever claimed we did. Everything that I discuss and criticize has always been what was publicly known. In the same way I refuse to listen to people who say “Harry lied and Harry cheated” (with zero proof) I also refuse to say “Zayn lied or cheated on Harry.” But hardly anyone acknowledges that. Most people are just mad that Zayn has done more openly hurtful things, and so they get pissed whenever I point them out.
I have always believed on some level Zarry both hurt each other over time, mainly through the lack of healthy communication and not being straightforward about their feelings early on. And I also feel like Harry can be a little petty shit at times when he’s hurt, and that Zayn knows how to handle him when he’s that way.
However, because I’m not blind, I also noticed the things Zayn did that hurt Harry (which we could publicly observe) began to far outweigh any perceived or imagined wrongs people like to pretend Harry has done behind the scenes to hurt Zayn. Mainly as a Zarry account, I began to take issue with the female tattoos, the engagement, the baby immediately after Fine Line, and the Grammy diss. I began to question whether I could keep rooting for them or not.
Now, the main way I believe Harry hurt Zayn was through a lack of communication, which he hints at in “If I Could Fly” when he finally shows Zayn what’s really in his heart. I believe for a long time, at least up until 2013 (because in 2014 Harry made it clear how much he loved Zayn to his face) Zayn may not have realized how strongly Harry felt for him, and so this may have caused him some confusion and some hurt. Particularly because Harry is flirty by nature, they are constantly surrounded by thousands of people eager to jump Harry’s bones, and Harry is shipped with every other human on the planet.
Zayn may have indeed been affected by fooling around with Harry behind closed doors, and then not knowing how Harry felt about him afterwards. Zayn has also undoubtedly experienced a lot of doubt and confusion about his identity and sexuality because of Harry. But the thing is, this exact same logic can be applied in the reverse.
Zayn has clearly caused Harry similar emotional and mental confusion (“Lights Up”) and Zayn too is shipped in a serious way with both Louis and Liam, and was flirty at times with all the other boys, and has actually been caught out with girls outside of Perrie. Also, Zayn only recently openly said “I love you” in a 2020 song (only after Harry sang “You don’t have to say you love me“ in 2019.)
Harry openly (and rather desperately) professed how much he loved Zayn in every song he wrote during 1D, but did so literally in “Olivia.” Also, remember back in mid-2014 how Harry would openly turn to Zayn and sing “It’s you they add up to, I’m in love with you”? Yah, sometimes Harry was very clear about his feelings and no one can pretend otherwise. Zayn was aware of it because he would often turn and wait for Harry to sing it to him, and then touch his earpiece to let him know he had heard.
See the proof here:
Zayn pushed Harry away during his eating disorder in 2014 and wouldn’t speak to him about it. So all the fools who try to say Harry never helped Zayn are full of spit. Not only can we document Harry’s love and concern for Zayn regarding his eating disorder all the way back to freaking 2012, but we can also see his inclination to always always always feed Zayn (and only Zayn) some of whatever he had been eating onstage, and we can also track him giving Zayn (AND ONLY ZAYN) water everyday, and letting Zayn (and only Zayn) drink from his own bottle. He literally infantilized Zayn sometimes and treated him like a china doll who was too fragile to take the cap off of his own water!
See the proof here:
And none of this is to discount the super loving and attentive things Zayn did for Harry as well! See the proof here:
We’ve seen Harry ‘hurt” (more like “tormented”) in real time during the band, and somehow people pretend what Zayn did with Perrie and now what he is doing with Gigi is justifiable on any level. I mean, just look at Harry’s reaction to the Perrie tattoo. He went and got a cross which he kisses for Zayn, and he wears the cross around his neck for Zayn, and wore green/gold crosses together to represent he and Zayn during his Fine Line promo 🙁 and he replaced the rose ring with a golden cross ring. But because these Zstans/fake Zarries can’t stand for any of this to be true since it makes Zayn’s offerings of love seem inadequate, they just want to level the playing field so that Harry isn’t winning, so they say things like:
“Harry isn’t kissing his heart, Harry isn’t kissing his cross, Harry isn’t wearing all that green and gold for Zayn, Harry didn’t use Zayn’s identical track titles for Zayn, Harry wasn’t dropping “weigh” for Zayn in Little Things, Harry is not obsessed with Zayn, Harry had real relationships with all his winter girlfriends and bedwarmers.”
Another moment where Harry was visibly hurt was following MSG in 2018. He removed his rose ring for one day. We still don’t know why, but he did. Zstans masquerading as Zarries jumped on this because he was clearly hurt, so they pretended he was the one who hurt Zayn because he went out with friends after the show??? Their thinking is so sick and twisted it’s shocking.
So Harry (who had just performed an entire set of emotional songs for Zayn in front of tens of thousands of people) is the bad guy for trying to spend a few hours with the tons of friends and family who came to both MSG shows to support him (which is only socially appropriate) as opposed to being somewhere with Zayn (which he could have been with him overnight.) They just want to paint Harry as the bad guy that night because it was clear Harry was hurt following the show and removed his rose ring for one day, and looked super upset at the Washington DC show the next day.
But all of this stuff aside, my point has always been: some of the things Zayn put Harry through publicly are simply inexcusable and UNNECESSARY TO PROTECT HIS SEXUALITY. Like the tattoos of the female’s likenesses, or the engagement, or the baby. They were not necessary, he could have easily protected himself without doing these things, but he CHOSE to do them, fully aware of how much they would hurt Harry. What’s upsetting about this stuff is the degree to which we know these things damaged Harry psychologically, but Zayn doesn’t seem to care. Or at least he doesn’t care enough to not do them. Zayn wanted to do them for whatever reason—-which means whenever he weighs his options, Harry has seemingly always come dead last in any serious assessment of his priorities (or life planning.)
That really phucking sucks because we see evidence of Harry putting Zayn above EVERYONE time and time again. Just look at the Zayn vs Camille treatment in Fine Line. Or even consider the evidence in Zayn vs Anyone Ever. Also we saw Harry putting Zayn first when he asked for the hiatus in late 2014 when Zayn was visibly ill and Harry physically couldn’t sing the lyric “you weigh” in “Little Things” at this time. Or how he disbanded 1D the moment Zayn left and went on to write two solo albums dedicated to Zayn.
Harry is also big enough to admit when he feels he was wrong (like in “Falling”) and does not point fingers (except in “Woman”) despite us seeing with our own eyes what he has been through and how badly he has been publicly slighted in this relationship. And he was never really given a chance to be with Zayn or take care of him because his gender was an inconvenience to Zayn’s image. He was pushed aside at every turn, told that they were not in love but in lust, and had to watch Zayn be openly with other people while he himself settled for bedwarmers who couldn’t keep his interest beyond a month or so.
So don’t talk to me about Zayn feeling “hurt” when he was always the one doing the hurting on a more profound and damaging level, by treating Harry like he was unworthy of the honor of being with him like Perrie or Gigi. Need a reminder? Here: “Girl Crush”
PAGE THREE: Harry Never Cheated On Zayn