Xander vs Zayn

For the thousandth time, I’m going to ask you: “Haven’t you noticed a pattern yet?” For Harry and his music, all roads lead shockingly and meticulously back to Zayn.

Ugh, Xarry. It’s pronounced exactly like Zarry. So you know the drill by now, Xarry = Xander + Harry.

For me, this is one of the most puzzling set of rumors out there surrounding Harry’s dating life, because it’s the one case that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, that people like to assume Harry is dating/sleeping with humans just because he breathed near them.

Can you not detect the disparity in the energy levels and body language between them in this picture above? Their expressions? They’re on two completely different wavelengths here. Xander looks open, inviting, amiable. Harry looks closed off, stoic, and mentally preoccupied with something other than their coffee outing.

To this day, there is not a single, solitary shred of evidence that Harry has ever dated this man, Xander Ritz. There just isn’t. And beyond that, there is not a single solitary video or photo that shows Harry being physically affectionate towards Xander, or even demonstrating that he wanted to be physically affectionate with him but was holding back in public; like we saw him do with Zayn in late 2014 leading into 2015. Zarry tried not to interact in public, but would slip up some days, like at the Los Premios 40 Principales or at the AMAs 2014 when they were brushing their fingers together. (Sigh)

For someone that was in Harry’s company so often and for so long and who seemed to be such a good friend of Harry’s, the man has never looked even remotely intrigued by Xander. Not in the least. I’m not exaggerating.


Let’s back up a bit. Who exactly is Xander Ritz?

Xander (from what we know) is a former Lacrosse player and a friend of Jeff’s who Harry apparently met in late 2014.

Nadine (one of Harry’s model exes) Jeff Azoff (Harry’s manager) and Xander in late 2014

You know, the same late 2014 when Harry was still in love with Zayn, dropping lyrics for Zayn in Little Things when he was ill with an eating disorder, flirting with him shamelessly during the AMAs 2014, and oh yeah the one who he was staring at in the monitor with a wild laser-focus during the iHeart performance they gave in late 2014. Suffice it to say, Harry was extremely Zayn-oriented when he met Xander, so anything he could of potentially felt for the man was preemptively nullified by his absorption with Zayn.

Look at them below. Does Xarry look even remotely romantic to you? Do they look giddy? Do they look consumed with each other? Do they look like they’re barely refraining from jumping each other’s bones like we’ve seen Harry behave with Zayn time and time again? The answer is: NO

They’re barely able to sit still without jumping each other’s bones. Right?

Meanwhile, the tension between these two is always rather palpable. Even when they’re not touching.

You can barely tell if Harry wants to kill Zayn or make love to him. That is tension. Not indifference.
Zayn’s puppy face is for Harry only. During the lyric: “You’ll never love yourself half as much as I love you…”
Total absorption.

Zarry candidly:

Xarry candidly:

Xarry shippers really try to force there to be something between them because there simply isn’t any material, so they did this:

But that was a manip. Here is the original with Xarry NOT interacting yet again:

Also Harry and Xander’s body language is wayyy off (even for two people who supposedly sleep together behind the scenes.)

This:

That gap though…that’s a dude-bro gap hahaha

Will never be this:

Or this:

The energy of this:

Is so different from this:

And this:

Even when they’re just standing together, you can feel an ENERGY between them that says: “Yeah, we phuck.”

With Xarry, I just don’t see it, and I have TRIED to imagine him being Harry’s lover. I went through multiple pictures of Harry and Xander, and not once does Harry look even remotely interested in him. Idk why. His attention is just NEVER directed at Xander. Like ever. I could make a better argument that he hated the dude, which obviously he doesn’t. But it almost seems like Xander was an imposition to Harry in 2015. Like an unwanted babysitter that he just tolerated out of respect for Jeff, and not so much a bff like people think. Maybe they eventually became good friends, but I just don’t see that energy in 2015.

The disconnect is real…there is more chemistry between Harry and the black dude.

Xarry are two of the most disconnected, unsynchronized secret lovers I have ever seen. If Harry was sleeping with him, I imagine their relationship was pretty boring. Body language is something you cannot hide, alter, contrive, or disguise, which is why it is so clear Zarry have been romantically involved even when they’re just standing near each other. There is a grace and a unity and a rhythm between them. Like their bodies are intimately acquainted, even when they are simply walking.

And if Xarry are secret lovers then why on earth was Harry so open to being seen with him so often, right in public, unlike with Zayn?? Xarry was papped more than Harry’s relationship with any other person (apart from Jeff) from what I can see, because they were all (the entire Jeff/Harry friend circle) together all the time in 2015. (“I walk the streets all day, running with the thieves, cause you left me in the hallway…”)

Also, every time Xander comes to one of Harry’s shows in 2018 he is always with his brother, just like during much of 2015. Why if Harry is his lover does he drag his brother everywhere with them? Lol.


Now, for example Harry is watching Augustana perform in this video, and Xander is nearby, but you literally wouldn’t know that until Xander says something to Harry. Because Harry seems to tune him out completely, and we know why: Augustana is the band who’s lyrics he posted in 2013 with the pink heart on the metal box for Zayn.

Dude-bro vibes:

Babysitter/security/dude-bro vibes:

Extremely unromantic, indifferent body language. Not tuned into each other.
Not even subconsciously cognizant of each other’s presence.

Xarry shippers like to make a big deal out of the fact that Harry went to Xander’s hometown in 2015 and romanticize their travels, and it’s like uh…1D had a show in Philly that day, which is the reason Harry went there and of course he met his family while there. At that point Harry was friends with Xander and his brother through Jeff. We know Harry is obsessed with families. And they were all with a group of friends. Xarry didn’t go alone.


There is something about Xander that I see, that I feel like other people don’t see, and it drives me crazy. There is something about their friendship in 2015 that did not feel organic. I just feel like his presence near Harry in 2015 seems functionary or something. He seems to have a certain utility for Harry at that time that I can’t quite figure out. Like he was asked to be there for a specific reason. Again, he almost strikes me as one of Harry’s babysitters, like Cal Arund was, and Xander may have even been working for Jeff who was taking over the management of Harry at this time. So you always saw them all together with Jeff and company.

Guess how many people Harry is accused of sleeping with in this one photo? At least 3. Kendall, Ben, & Xander.

Another glaring issue with the Xarry theory is that PEOPLE ARE ASSUMING HE IS A GAY OR BISEXUAL MAN JUST BECASUE HE WAS SPOTTED NEAR HARRY. These people have zero idea if that man had a girlfriend all during 2015, and they still don’t know whether this man is engaged or married or if he has kids, because the freaking fans chased him off of social media in 2015 with allegations of sleeping with Harry and also allegations of him using Harry to sleep with fans. He couldn’t win either way.

He and Harry are still friends btw, but Harry is friends with the entire Ritz family, just like he is with the Gerber family or the Azoffs or the Winstons etc. Harry makes friends with family units all the time. I think it is beyond clear he and Xander are just friends and that at one point Xander may have been employed as a chaperone of some sort (like Cal Arund) for Harry right before Jeff took over fully managing Harry in 2016. Remember Xander was 32 while Harry was 21 and Xander is 38 now. So he was an older more mature figure, and he was originally Jeff’s friend. Xander could have a whole ass wife and family and we wouldn’t know about it because he’s not on social media.


Logically, however, Xarry is not real for one simple reason. Harry doesn’t write about him. In 2015, during the height of Xarry, Harry was penning yet more emotionally distressed lyrics about Zayn. He wrote If I Could Fly, Walking in the Wind, and Olivia in early 2015 about falling out with someone and them leaving him, all while he was supposedly in love with Xander and running the streets with him. It doesn’t add up, just like all things regarding Harry with anyone other than Zayn (romantically speaking.) See Hendall & Hamille here.

Not only that, but Harry carried the same themes and sentiments into HS1, proving he is not writing about Xander because Xander never left him. They have always been friends and Xander went to any of Harry’s shows that were important in 2017-2018, like in his hometown Philly, or in MSG, or in NYC, or in LA at the Forum. And God knows Fine Line is not about him.

He doesn’t have brown skin, he doesn’t have sunflower tattoos, he didn’t release an album at the exact same time a year before Harry released Fine Line, he has no association to the color yellow, he did not write a song called “Golden” or “She,” he does not have sunflower tattoos, and ultimately, he is simply not Zayn.

There is no comparison between Zayn and anyone else you can try to bring up and attach to Harry in a romantic way. The vast bulk of Harry’s songs do not make sense for anyone other than Zayn, and therefore this is clearly why Harry felt the need to admit: “I’m well aware I write too many songs about you.” In that lyric, he let us in on the fact that the bulk of his music is written about the same person. He is aware that he writes about Zayn obsessively, but this is what love does to you.

It is because he openly writes about one person so obsessively that I’m able to logically circle back to Zayn in almost every song Harry has released since 2013. I’m POSITIVE Harry has had romantic relations with other people here and there over the years (obviously) but the point of this conversation is that the feelings Harry expresses over Zayn in his music are unrivaled by anyone else who comes into his life.

MSG in a nutshell. Camille and Xander in the crowd, Harry singing to the VIP box man. Watch here.

6 thoughts on “Xander vs Zayn

  1. Hey,

    one of the best reads I´ve found. I love that you love words.

    I would like to read more on your thoughts about Harrys companies, FullstoppM, Fullwell 73 etc.

  2. Ok maybe I am reading too much into it but listen to this Zayn is half Pakistani and if you compare the standard time of the USA and Pakistan you will see that Pakistan is ahead of USA. Now harry released fine line on 13th of December but the time at which he released it, it was actually 14th of December in Pakistan which is the anniversary of Icarus Falls.

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