Harry’s Lover Doesn’t Speak

Ever notice that a running theme throughout Harry’s music is that his lover doesn’t communicate with him? It started as far back as “Olivia,” from what I can see.

Of course we know this song goes on to talk about Harry “falling out” with this person, and that is the precise terminology Harry conveyed to Joe Cummings about Zayn in Bangkok 2015.

Meanwhile Zayn:

Then we enter into the HS1 solo era and Harry really goes off about his lover not communicating with him.

Sign Of The Times:

Important to note, SOTT is the same song where Harry talks about “the final show” and “we got to get away” and “breaking through the atmosphere” and also showed himself flying away into the sky in the music video.

Zayn was the one who wanted to leave the band and eventually left, prompting Harry to push for the permanent hiatus, and Zayn left weeks after he tweeted begging someone to fly him to the moon.

“If I Could Fly” (2015)

Ever Since New York:

In this lyric Harry is again begging someone to speak before they leave him. Just like in Olivia.
He’s tired of the same old saga. He needs something new to happen. He wants them to tell him things will change.

This is the song where he seems to respond to a lyric in Zayn’s “It’s You” about their relationship being a curse.

Mutually, the first album sentiment for both is rather bleak and despairing.
They both continued the same exact lyrical thread in their second album, both rectifying the sentiment they shared in the first album and compromising. This shows intent.

Sweet Creature:

Continued theme of Harry and his lover not communicating properly.
He is clearly referencing the Bangkok Fallout imo.

Watch more about how “Sweet Creature” is about Zayn here.

From The Dining Table:

Again, Harry is having communication issues with a person he fell out with and who left him.
This person never breaks first, because they are used to not speaking. Whereas it kills Harry not to speak. Which is why he is always pleading with them to SAY SOMETHING.

We know that Zayn felt so compelled by the lyrics in FTDT that he seemed to respond right away with the uber-romantic Dusk Till Dawn.

More on “From The Dining Room” table and Zayn here.

Meet Me In The Hallway:

Yet again, someone Harry loves has left him and they both generally don’t communicate about their issues. What are the odds that since MITAM Harry has dated multiple people and had this exact same issue with them all, since he keeps repeatedly singing about the same things? That’s implausible. Which means, all of Harry’s songs are essentially referring to the same person, and the same fallout, and the same set of circumstances where Harry’s lover leaves him, and they never communicate properly with each other both before and after the person left.

The “it’s something we don’t do” part indicates Harry and his lover have an understanding that they don’t talk about their relationship. Funny enough, Zayn has this exact same understanding with his lover, which he expressed in “I Won’t Mind.”

The same themes are carried even into the Fine Line era.


Here we see all of these lyrics Harry has written over the years culminating into his worst fear, which he expressed in dismal terms in “Falling.” What if after everything they’ve been through, Zayn simply won’t ever talk about him, exiling him to the furthest reaches of his memory, and completely out of his life? What if their relationship was so meaningless and inconsequential to Zayn, that he simply never speaks to him or about him again? Harry cannot live with that. The mere thought makes him feel like he’s dying, or drowning as he so vividly demonstrated in the music video. And inherent in a phobia that someone will never talk about you, is the idea that they will forget you.

Beyond what is clearly a great dread for Harry (his lover no longer even bothering to mention him) we know this lyric is specifically about Zayn because Harry has openly (in the media) described Zayn as a person who DOESN’T TALK ABOUT THE THINGS THAT ARE BOTHERING HIM. He openly said he feels that is how Zayn deals with stuff, and this gave us an invaluable insight into the dynamics of their private relationship and what seems to be an ongoing issue for them both (which is why it bleeds into their lyrics so often.) COMMUNITCATION ISSUES.

“And I’m hoping someday you’re OPEN…I know that you’re scared because I’m so OPEN.” I don’t believe this lyric is only about Zayn coming out of the closet and walking in his truth. It’s also about him HIDING everything in general, like his anxiety. And it’s about him being defensive and closed off (“Common”) not letting Harry inside (“Sunflower Vol 6”) not affording Harry the opportunity to really know him outside of sex (“spreading him open”) and bottling everything up on the daily, which Harry knows is having cumulative effects on Zayn’s mental health.

He wants Zayn to be open and to speak for the benefit of their relationship, but also for Zayn’s own wellbeing. He specifically mentions in 2017 in an interview with The Sunday Times, that because Zayn refused to talk about his eating disorder in late 2014 (which Harry was really emotional about) Harry was hindered from truly helping Zayn in whatever way he could, and he wasn’t happy about that.

Although Zayn probably didn’t talk to him about it because he wasn’t aware that he had an eating disorder at the time.

Adore You:

Harry Styles, the man of many hard compromises. What does he win in this case exactly???

I found it interesting that in the Gucci Festival Short Film Series (which I love and didn’t realize it released more episodes) in the episode Harry is in, we are introduced to this lovely lovely tune called “In A Manner Of Speaking” by Nouvelle Vague. The lyrics are quintessentially Zarry, and may be similar to how Harry views his relationship with Zayn, and why he is able to make so many hard compromises that are listed above in the “Adore You” lyrics.

In a manner of speaking
I just want to say
That I could never forget the way
You told me everything
By saying nothing

In a manner of speaking
I don’t understand
How love in silence becomes reprimand
But the way that I feel about you
Is beyond words

Oh, give me the words
Give me the words
That tell me nothing
Oh, give me the words
Give me the words
That tell me everything

In a manner of speaking
Semantics won’t do
In this life that we live, we live, we only make do
The way that we feel
Might have to be sacrificed

So in a manner of speaking
I just want to say
That just like you I should find a way
To tell you everything
By saying nothing

Harry Styles | “Adore You”

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