Harry’s Lover Doesn’t Speak


Ever notice that a running theme throughout Harry’s music is that his lover doesn’t communicate with him? It started as far back as “Olivia,” from what I can see.

Of course we know this song goes on to talk about Harry “falling out” with this person, and that is the precise terminology Harry conveyed to Joe Cummings about Zayn in Bangkok 2015.


Meanwhile Zayn:


Then we enter into the HS1 solo era and Harry really goes off about his lover not communicating with him.

Sign Of The Times:

Important to note, SOTT is the same song where Harry talks about “the final show” and “we got to get away” and “breaking through the atmosphere” and also showed himself flying away into the sky in the music video.

Zayn was the one who wanted to leave the band and eventually left, prompting Harry to push for the permanent hiatus, and Zayn left weeks after he tweeted begging someone to fly him to the moon.

“If I Could Fly” (2015)


Ever Since New York:

In this lyric Harry is again begging someone to speak before they leave him. Just like in Olivia.
He’s tired of the same old saga. He needs something new to happen. He wants them to tell him things will change.

This is the song where he seems to respond to a lyric in Zayn’s “It’s You” about their relationship being a curse.

Mutually, the first album sentiment for both is rather bleak and despairing.
They both continued the same exact lyrical thread in their second album, both rectifying the sentiment they shared in the first album and compromising. This shows intent.

Sweet Creature:

Continued theme of Harry and his lover not communicating properly.
He is clearly referencing the Bangkok Fallout imo.

Watch more about how “Sweet Creature” is about Zayn here.


From The Dining Table:

Again, Harry is having communication issues with a person he fell out with and who left him.
This person never breaks first, because they are used to not speaking. Whereas it kills Harry not to speak. Which is why he is always pleading with them to SAY SOMETHING.

We know that Zayn felt so compelled by the lyrics in FTDT that he seemed to respond right away with the uber-romantic Dusk Till Dawn.

More on “From The Dining Room” table and Zayn here.


Meet Me In The Hallway:

Yet again, someone Harry loves has left him and they both generally don’t communicate about their issues. What are the odds that since MITAM Harry has dated multiple people and had this exact same issue with them all, since he keeps repeatedly singing about the same things? That’s implausible. Which means, all of Harry’s songs are essentially referring to the same person, and the same fallout, and the same set of circumstances where Harry’s lover leaves him, and they never communicate properly with each other both before and after the person left.

The “it’s something we don’t do” part indicates Harry and his lover have an understanding that they don’t talk about their relationship. Funny enough, Zayn has this exact same understanding with his lover, which he expressed in “I Won’t Mind.”


The same themes are carried even into the Fine Line era.

Falling:

Here we see all of these lyrics Harry has written over the years culminating into his worst fear, which he expressed in dismal terms in “Falling.” What if after everything they’ve been through, Zayn simply won’t ever talk about him, exiling him to the furthest reaches of his memory, and completely out of his life? What if their relationship was so meaningless and inconsequential to Zayn, that he simply never speaks to him or about him again? Harry cannot live with that. The mere thought makes him feel like he’s dying, or drowning as he so vividly demonstrated in the music video. And inherent in a phobia that someone will never talk about you, is the idea that they will forget you.

Beyond what is clearly a great dread for Harry (his lover no longer even bothering to mention him) we know this lyric is specifically about Zayn because Harry has openly (in the media) described Zayn as a person who DOESN’T TALK ABOUT THE THINGS THAT ARE BOTHERING HIM. He openly said he feels that is how Zayn deals with stuff, and this gave us an invaluable insight into the dynamics of their private relationship and what seems to be an ongoing issue for them both (which is why it bleeds into their lyrics so often.) COMMUNITCATION ISSUES.

“And I’m hoping someday you’re OPEN…I know that you’re scared because I’m so OPEN.” I don’t believe this lyric is only about Zayn coming out of the closet and walking in his truth. It’s also about him HIDING everything in general, like his anxiety. And it’s about him being defensive and closed off (“Common”) not letting Harry inside (“Sunflower Vol 6”) not affording Harry the opportunity to really know him outside of sex (“spreading him open”) and bottling everything up on the daily, which Harry knows is having cumulative effects on Zayn’s mental health.

He wants Zayn to be open and to speak for the benefit of their relationship, but also for Zayn’s own wellbeing. He specifically mentions in 2017 in an interview with The Sunday Times, that because Zayn refused to talk about his eating disorder in late 2014 (which Harry was really emotional about) Harry was hindered from truly helping Zayn in whatever way he could, and he wasn’t happy about that.

Although Zayn probably didn’t talk to him about it because he wasn’t aware that he had an eating disorder at the time.


Adore You:

Harry Styles, the man of many hard compromises. What does he win in this case exactly???

I found it interesting that in the Gucci Festival Short Film Series (which I love and didn’t realize it released more episodes) in the episode Harry is in, we are introduced to this lovely lovely tune called “In A Manner Of Speaking” by Nouvelle Vague. The lyrics are quintessentially Zarry, and may be similar to how Harry views his relationship with Zayn, and why he is able to make so many hard compromises that are listed above in the “Adore You” lyrics.

In a manner of speaking
I just want to say
That I could never forget the way
You told me everything
By saying nothing

In a manner of speaking
I don’t understand
How love in silence becomes reprimand
But the way that I feel about you
Is beyond words

Oh, give me the words
Give me the words
That tell me nothing
Oh, give me the words
Give me the words
That tell me everything

In a manner of speaking
Semantics won’t do
In this life that we live, we live, we only make do
The way that we feel
Might have to be sacrificed

So in a manner of speaking
I just want to say
That just like you I should find a way
To tell you everything
By saying nothing

Harry Styles | “Adore You”

Published by AD

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50 thoughts on “Harry’s Lover Doesn’t Speak

  1. I would so love to have a conversation with you to compare notes. This is my first time reading this article. I believe the answer to this song was Zayn’s rEaR vIeW. Have a listen and tell me your thoughts

  2. Hi I don’t know if this is alright or not but my mom is an old medicine woman and I shown her gigi baby bump without saying anything just said “do you know the gender mom” and she said its a boy bump (I shown her several pic and she said boy every time)…so like I don’t know what to do with this info,what do you think about this.

  3. Ok so, I don’t normally look too into G and her posts but I just wanted to say that I don’t think the person walking the baby is the same in both photos. The one photo looks like a tall guy. Sry I just wanted to see if anyone felt the same. Also the picture of them outside looks like he was leaving and giving like a goodbye hug. I know it sounds crazy but the photos seemed sooo staged that I thought maybe Z really is trying to make steps to be with H or at the least live his truth. What do u guys think?

  4. Thank you for mentioning SOTT. I have been wondering why there hasn’t seemed to be much connection to Zarry with this song, but thought maybe it was just too darned obvious to need much discussion. I also see an Icarus Falls connection with the flying up to the sky. Would love to see you analyze this song/video here!

  5. AD, I love your writing.
    As I was reading this I kept thinking about the article from US Weekly where Malik said “To be honest, I never really spoke to Harry, even when I was in the band.”
    He didn’t lie!

  6. I may be totally wrong about all the below but I’m approaching NIL as poetry analysis and not attached a particular outcome to it. So listening repeatedly, considering phrasing, using dictionaries including urban and considering how words are used e.g. it is a verb or noun, etc because it changes meaning.
    Anyway what’s triggered me to write below was query about whether Calamity relating to the baby. I’d say no based on the what is said before and after the lyrics which are actually “Whatever the calamity I did this for myself”. The word “for” has the meaning “in support of or in favour of” so it’s something he’s doing just for him.
    To me Calamity is about making choices and the “acceptability” of those choices to others and himself. He talks about his ongoing revealing of significant personal information and the cost of doing so but also the need to persist in doing so because the situation is critical and is either going to lead to victory or defeat.
    I’m still listening but my current gut feel is that choice that could result in a calamity is in the future and it’s accounting is at death. This suggests the choice goes against faith/beliefs and I feel feared death could be potentially spiritual with all the broader implications of that in his life and other relationships.
    He talks about having “no right” choices and compares two choices both of which are “left” for different reasons. The use of “left” is beautiful as an opposite to “no right” meaning neither choice is “wrong” per se. Therefore it’s not a clear decision. One of the choices leaves him just existing but the other choice brings him closer to that accounting at death. He seems to be using “room” to describe the known choice and “space” to describe the unknown choice. The last few words of Calamity “lock the right ties” indicate the known is an externally “acceptable” relationship. He appears to want to make the unknown choice but has been paralyzed about making it because in my reading it’s going against so much that’s ingrained in him i.e. it’s the choice will result in a calamity. But sticking with the known choice is going to cost him living his life alive. Speaking personally it’s better to life and die alive than to live dead.
    Z carries the usage of “no right” and “left” into Outside “Two wrongs made no right when it’s left”. He picks up on the known and unknown in Connexions and is wanting to dive into the unknown. Have to say I’m really blown away by the use of language in NIL and the thoughtfulness that must lie behind it. First listen it washed past me which I think is deliberate. Love that it demands listening. Such a joy to delve into.
    Fascinating that Z’s released official lyrics for his Golden which is also about choices and love that grows and a shared life that’s meant to be. Also lyrics for Do Something Good “Let’s (let us) doing something good today, before it’s too late.” Hurt is releasing officially tomorrow. Feels like a flood gate has opened and he’s reached the acceptance point in a grieving process. But as I said I might be totally wrong or at least left.

    1. I’d like to retract the last paragraph above because release of older song lyrics appears to be unofficial. Would appear to be someone very into and wanting to support Z but it’snot Z. I did do some level of checking but just didn’t pick up on all the mismatches. We live and we learn.

    2. I too felt like it’s about taking drastic action for your own wellbeing regardless of the consequences (“whatever the Calamity”). But doesn’t “watch my life by and lock the right ties” sounds more like him appealing his fans to revisit his life and connect the right dots to understand his “analogies” or what/whom he’s referring throughout all his songs till date?

    3. the hurt song was released officially by a solo name Gallant song name still Hurt.so like …its speculated to be written on 2018 there two source saying maybe or maybe not zayn had written it.

  7. Being a South Asian I can feel Zayn in this regard. In our culture we are ~taught~ “trained” from an early age not to speak only to listen to elders, to teachers, even your husband. Tbh this is quite an unhealthy culture to grow up in where it’s allowed for men to be disliked, hated but not to be vulnerable. Maybe it’s due to repeated Islamic invasions but my motherland was relatively liberal from the beginning. After all human rights cannot flourish in a land where a continuous war is going on for 640 years. Either way I still hope Zayn will break through it (as I did a year earlier) all he needs is to be snatched away from his support systems! This might sound cruel but honestly if I hadn’t been emotionally isolated I doubt if I ever would have started to take a stand for myself. He needs to pushed to the wall and let him choose between “do or die”. Thank Mahadev I was born in west Bengal (one of two most liberal part of this land besides Kerala) not in states like Rajasthan to be murdered in the name of Family Prestige!!!

    P.S. I love my motherland but what’s toxic is toxic 😒

  8. Heyy AD, loved this one. But why don’t these people address it more often like all the anxieties, depression and any kind of disorder they really should be talking on these issues as thousands or more people look up to them as their idols.
    Ik this is nowhere related to zarry but it just breaks my heart that zayn couldn’t talk about his eating disorders and anxiety.
    Just hoping the truth comes out soon.

    1. Hello.
      This is a very good point you made about his E.D there is another teenage musician who also suffered from an ED and he refused point blank to talk about it , everyone started to suspect him of heavy drug use because he was losing so much weight and was looking sickly but even his band mates could not get through to him ( like how A.D said “ Harry was hindered from helping Zayn because Zayn would not talk about it “) l guess the illness was also difficult to process with him as a man because it more affects females) but l do believe it was a direct impact of his anxiety. The other teenage musician ( who was in a rock band at the time ) said he developed social anxiety, stage fright and was overwhelmed by his sudden fame a bit like Zayn, he was also very shy . He felt The only thing he could control in his life was his food intake , he tried to take control back by eating as little as possible, The only thing we know about Zayn’s relationship with food during the band is that he said sometimes he did not have time to eat because they were always so busy and sometimes went 2-3 days without eating.I feel like Zayn speaks of his fears and anxieties through his music , but the fact that he hardly ever gives interviews does not allow himself to open up to others ( reporters) who could ask him questions about his General well being or to share his experiences. We are all left guessing. One thing l do appreciate with the other musician is that he became an advocate for raising awareness on eating disorders, especially Anorexia,,trying to dispel the stigma , the moment he realized he could actually die from it .

  9. I love your articles. They are so well thought-out and enjoyable to read.

    I feel like Harry’s songs quite sequentially line up to what’s going on in his life. He likes to tell his story. Zayn, on the other hand, doubled up on the album, Icarus Falls, with songs that were rejected from his first album so wouldn’t have seen the light of day of Harry Styles, the album.

    Do you think NIL was written after Fine Line? I’ve listened to NIL so much and I feel like there’s elements of Harry in it because of their break up but then Zayn broke up with Gigi too so I am so confused.

    Anyway, can’t wait to read more from you. Shifting, how many hours do you have into this website? I love how everything is so interconnected and that’s not easy to do without a spreadsheet. I hope this somehow leads to a profession for you someday x

    1. “Do you think NIL was written after Fine Line?” Obviously, he’s talking about “Falling” so much right now when he didn’t used it before. What Zayn do in in his real life is just his slowness and his fear of taking action, in art he can express himself better. His songs are not about Gigi, his relationship with her is not that deep, he just uses her as a cover. He’s a closeted man, his passion and what inspires him in his writing and art is Harry.

  10. Zarry queen ua the best,honestly speaking l jus want H to move on right now.Life is for enjoyment coz sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go.

  11. Do u think that in calamity that when he says “ whatever the calamity.. I did it to myself” refers to the baby…like he can’t bc he has a daughter now but he messed up.

    1. There’s some rumours he has problems with drugs too. And i don’t think a baby it’s a definitive end for everything. Carrie Fish ex left her for a man in the 90’s when their daughter was just 1 year old. And in “River Road” looks like he’s thinking about the future “Know that I will see the sun again What will I leave behind me Where will I choose to go? To tell the truth, I’m tired of falling When I’m floating I’m closer to you” I’m seeing here he’s using the Icarus myth again, talking about “sun” and “falling”. Sometimes i get angry at Zayn but another times i pity him. He’s like in a very dark place psychologically. I was seeing this article and i got worried. https://www.outsmartmagazine.com/2016/03/staying-in-the-closet-5-ways-you-damage-your-mental-physical-health/
      Here are the main ailments that are likely to develop if you are forced to keep your sexual identity a secret from society and often from yourself:
      1. Dissociative Identity Disorder.
      2. Chronic Depression.
      3. Self-disgust and Self-hatred.
      4. Low Self-esteem and Negative Self-view.
      5. Alcohol/Drug Abuse and Suicidal Thoughts.
      Many closeted individuals develop low self-esteem and negative body image, which brings with them such issues as fear of intimacy, deep shame about their sexual experiences, and inability to develop emotional intimacy, psychologists claim.

      1. Thank you so much for mentioning this. As zarries we completely tend to ignore the supposed drug rumours that have been surrounding Zayn since forever. Also it is been said that he has been having some financial constraints as well which could be a good reason why he keeps himself attached to the hadids ( since Gigi’ s father is a millionaire).

  12. You hit this dead on. All I can say is what a waste of such a beautiful giving heart. Why does Z keep answering in his lyrics when he will never give H what he wants especially because he wants H just as much. He is such a coward.

  13. To be honest, I’m scared abt zayn bcs he is really hiding himself, n he gonna break once when he will realize that he won’t get any song now from Harry, it’s gonna be difficult, hazza said that FL more personal n fav album but now even some songs so painful to sing he doesn’t looked himself at this time when baby news come out.. I can’t forget his face expressions when he was in Italy n talked abt it to be honest first I didn’t get what he was talking abt bcs he was drunk n his drinking habit also worry me a little Idk maybe it’s my imaginary, I want him happy really. He really deserves happiness, n yeah I’m agree with u I don’t hate zayn but he really is selfish aa hazzas friend told him that he is selfish haz he doesn’t has 2 hears to love.. N u are amazing Idk much abt them or 1d after Italy I discovered u n I want to tell u tglhat u are 10000000000 % right abt them… Big love for ur hard work

    1. Wow thank you so much! I know my analysis would be a joke compared to a professional, but I thank you for the kind compliment love. 🙂

    1. Ad why wont you talk about the muslim football team member who mentioned both zayn and harry and even tagged them both

      1. It could be that they tagged Zayn because it was the other 1D member they knew, they were posting about a 1D member and tagged another very well known as well. I know that some people thought that Zayn was with Harry but it’s not indisputable evidence.

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