Golden (By Harry Styles)

Zayn’s “Golden” is about departure, reassurance, and enduring love. Harry’s “Golden” is about reconciliation, need, and hope. With centerpiece songs like “Intermission: Flower” and lyrics in Zayn’s “Golden” about his love for Harry only growing, it’s clear they had unfinished business to attend to, and Harry was encouraged to pursue their relationship after the band.

Yellow-Metal = Gold. It’s simple really. There is only one plausible reason Zayn chose to refer to himself (not just his rap title but also himself) as Yellow Metal. He was 1000% adopting his role in the Green & Gold unit, but also more specifically, he was adopting Harry’s latest term of endearment for him: Golden.

In Zayn’s “Golden” from 2016, he refers to their love (in vague terms) as being golden. However, in Harry’s “Golden” (his 2019 response to Zayn’s) he tells his lover that THEY are golden. Hence his excessive use of the color yellow (gold) during the promo of Fine Line:

Hence Harry saying “yellow” twice in his Beauty Paper Magazines interview:

Zayn = Gold This is something we’ve always known and have always called him. LITERALLY Green & Gold. Now all of a sudden we have Zayn calling himself Yellow Metal, straight up. You know, everyone (including some Larries and other non-Zarries) conceded that From The Dining Table could be about Zayn because the lyrics were so spot-on and obvious. So this time, Harry made it beyond clear for us all, yet people are choosing to ignore it.

Once we understand that Harry’s “Golden” is by far the most direct and undeniable Zarry proof there is, gifted to us straight from the horse’s mouth in 2019, only then can we truly appreciate what this song means, and how courageous an offering it was on Harry’s part.

Vulnerability reigns here, first and foremost, as Harry admitted in his Beats 1 interview with Zayn Lowe. (22:30)

He said as soon as he wrote it, he instinctively knew it was Track One. He even said it’s the perfect PCH song (Pacific Coast Highway is a highly scenic stretch of road in California) and that when he cruises down the PCH, he listens to this song.

She actually made an appearance in Chapter 37 of This Thing Upon Me when he was writing “Sweet Creature” in the car! 🙂

Harry is so sentimental. Him doing this is such a heartfelt sentiment when you think of how inextricably this song is tied to Zayn. It’s almost like he’s imaging them together in this beautiful tranquility. He wanted and needed “Golden” to be first up on the tracklist, and this is a far greater indication of who the album is about than an admittedly unrelated voice-note admittedly tagged onto the end of a finished song in post-production.

For me, the placement of this track informs the listener precisely who and what this album will address. It’s about Harry’s quest to find himself, and in the process hopefully regain Paradise Lost. Paradise = the man he loves without limit. His world. His absolute muse.

“Flanked by fields of sunflowers, hand in hand we walk. As the gentle sound of nature surrounds us while we talk. The sunflowers give the scenery a warm and golden hue….a garden winds around the house and daisies poke through grass… Imagine someone loving you that much. You can’t. You simply can’t.

Side Note: Gigi likes to call Zayn her “muze” and I find that laughable. In what way is he her muse? From what we’ve seen, she doesn’t truly understand that notion, nor does she execute it in any convincing way, which Harry has done since he was at least 18. For her it’s just another wannabe-cutesy thing to comment on social media to have people fawn over their relationship. There is no meaningful substance to that claim.

She is a poser when it comes to pretending to be obsessed with Zayn (trying to mimic Harry’s passion) and nothing bears that out more than the way Harry has truly sacrificed and capitulated for this man for nearly 10 years (including watching him be with other people in public, and resorting to his art to express how he feels about him. That is bona fide unconditional love. A notion Gigi clearly struggles with, since her support of Zayn is selective at best, and her relationship with him is a glorified transaction—an exchange of questionable currencies.)


“You” – Zayn Leaked Song

Whelp, looks we have another leaked Zayn song. You know, I could get used to this lol. I love new music, especially from Zayn! I can’t get enough of his voice (and I suppose it goes without saying that I prefer his version to Troye’s, although I adore Troye so much!)

Apparently down below we have a demo Zayn made with Ellie Goulding for the song “You” recently released by Troye Sivan. Once more we are faced with the same questions: Did Zayn write this song? Why did he pass on releasing it? Who is leaking this stuff? Should we thank them?

Sure it’s a leak so it should be frowned upon, but also, it’s not necessarily taking money out of Zayn’s pocket since he doesn’t plan on releasing it. It’s basically just a nice bonus track for his fans to have between his albums. On some levels I think Zayn may even be releasing some of this stuff himself. And ultimately it’s interesting to see how much material passes through other artists hands before being released by your favorite musicians.

I would love to hear some of Harry’s old demos too! I can imagine he must receive tons of stuff every month, and leaves it piling up somewhere since he’s so selective and doesn’t worth with other teams. Producers are probably dying to work with him or have his voice for their songs.

C’mon Harold. Be a good person and leak some of your old demos! Stop being so selfish all the time!

As always, thank you to the people who brought this information over and dropped it in the Discussion Post! You all rock! 🙂

Troye’s Official Release:

Zayn’s Demo: (Listen On 2x Speed)

Zayn’s Demo Sample On Regular Speed:


All I see is, is you, is you
Oh, you

How could you ever leave me without a chance to try?
How can I be sorry if I don’t know the crime?
I should be mad, ’cause you never told me why
Still, I can’t seem to say goodbye

Ooh, yeah
When I try to fall back, I fall back to you (yeah)

When I talk to my friends, I talk about you (yeah)
When the Hennessy’s strong, all I see is you, is you, is you, oh you (ooh)
Yeah, ooh (yeah)
No, I haven’t moved on, but trust me, I’ve tried (yeah)
If I give you a call, don’t hang up the line (yeah)
When the Hennessy’s strong, all I see is you, is you, is you, oh you

I’m good at overthinking
But I haven’t even got this far
All I know is that my mind is
In the back seat of your Corvette car
You got me at my baddest (baddest)
And you got me ’round your fingertip
Should be fed up with your bullshit
But everything about you, no, I can’t resist

How could you ever leave me without a chance to try?
How can I be sorry if I don’t know the crime?
I should be mad that you never told me why
Still, I can’t seem to say goodbye

When I try to fall back, I fall back to you (yeah)
When I talk to my friends, I talk about you (yeah)
When the jealousy’s strong, all I see is you, is you, is you, oh you (ooh)
Yeah, ooh (yeah)
No, I haven’t moved on, but trust me, I’ve tried (yeah)
If I give you a call, don’t hang up the line (yeah)
When the jealousy’s strong, all I see is you, is you, is you, oh you

Is you, oh, you
Is you, is you, oh, you

I see your face in every stranger, everywhere I go (everywhere I go)
I hear your voice in conversations, every word you spoke (every word you spoke)
Nearly blocked you on my phone about a thousand times
Yeah, I know I should say goodbye

Yeah, I know I should say goodbye

Ooh, yeah
When I try to fall back, I fall back to you (yeah)
When I talk to my friends, I talk about you (yeah)
When the Hennessy’s strong, all I see is you, is you, is you, oh you (ooh)
Yeah, ooh (yeah)
No, I haven’t moved on, but trust me, I’ve tried (yeah)
If I give you a call, don’t hang up the line (yeah)
When the Hennessy’s strong, all I see is you, is you, is you, oh you

Harry & David Holding Hands

Oddly, I was under the impression that My Policeman had wrapped filming a while ago. But it looks like they haven’t wrapped just yet! Good for us!

Harry was spotted arriving in Venice, Italy on June 14, 2021, and boy, he didn’t disappoint. He looked stunning as always, providing us with a bunch of effortless thirst-traps (which were basically just candid stills of him merely existing.)

Then today (June 15, 2021) came the real juicy stuff. Harry is filming with David again, but alone this time and in a romantic setting. Venice, Italy. (*heart sputters*) I don’t think any of us were prepared for this!

Harry looks positively delectable! Gosh he is impossibly gorgeous…

David looks so elegant and regal. What a King fit for Prince Harry!

They were even holding hands on the boat!!


You’re not prepared for this part!

Ugh, I can’t take it. If we get a kiss between them today on the streets I will screammmmm!!

He’s being such a gentleman and an angel with David. I bet they fall in love. (**sighs softly** RIP Zarry and Holivia)

Would love to know what you’re thinking about all this. Especially the handhold and the video of them walking arm-in-arm. I’m so soft right now, I can’t deal with this.

No, not like this…I’m not ready yet.

Bella Hadid’s Friend Attacked Zayn

I know we’ve delved into this at length over on YouTube, and discovered that the guy who attacked Zayn in the early morning hours of 6/4/2021 was none other than Daniel Chetrit, Bella Hadid’s DJ bestie.

Something reeks about this situation, but I can’t quite put my finger on it yet (not that I particularly want to.)

I’m bringing all this up again because there are a lot of conflicting theories revolving around this incident, from people saying it was a setup by the Hadids, to them saying this guy has blackmail on Zayn and was trying to get money out of him in the video, to them saying this guy caught Zayn with another man at the bar and that’s why he acted the way he did. Some people even believe Bella is currently mocking Zayn and the situation on IG with some of her recent posts. Pretty wild stuff, right? I just want to know what you all think at this point.

I don’t personally lean towards any theory in particular at this time. All I know is this POS DJ is Bella’s friend and he attacked Zayn very publicly. Where was the discretion? Where was the maturity or resolving things behind closed doors like adults? How did it get to the point where they were about to brawl on the streets, and Zayn took his shirt off? This dude seemed enraged, and he disrespected Zayn in front of his peers; even threatening him physically. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??? I simply cannot fathom what would’ve driven him to do this, other than him being drunk or there being some sort of trouble between Zayn and the Hadids behind the scenes. This guy did not do this out of the blue, there had to be a reason.

Lately I noticed everyone kept talking about this night and the theories surrounding it on the Discussion Post, so as usual I thought I would make a separate post for it so that all the latest theories and ongoing dialogue can be contained in one place. Sorry it took me so long to make a post about this, but I’ve had some things going on behind the scenes that required my attention the past few days, including this morning.

There’s no denying that this is the same him. He’s been caught red-handed, and he even set his social media accounts to private once his identity was discovered.

I’m still so shocked that it turned out to be Bella’s friend. I thought it was just a drunken stranger (which would have somewhat made sense) but this new information makes the alteration seem incredibly suspicious, and not something to be dismissed or looked past at all. .

More undeniable evidence of it being Daniel Chetrit.

Please, feel free to sound off on what you think took place this night, and what you think it means for Zayn and the Hadids going forward. We saw his damage control appearance with Gigi in the car days later, but that doesn’t mean things are magically all good again. And we know Bella is still hanging with Daniel after the altercation, so in my book that shows where her loyalties lie.

The only slight theory I have about the situation (which is still a reach) is that Bella may have been speaking ill on Zayn’s name to her friends like “oh he’s a piece of shit, he doesn’t treat her right”, and so when this guy encountered Zayn, he had preconceived notions about who Zayn was and thought it was justifiable to disrespect him or hit him the second they got into a verbal altercation (about God knows what.)

In a lot of ways, this situation reminds me (very vaguely) of the elevator video of Solange, Jay-Z, and Beyonce fighting basically around the time they found out Jay-Z had been cheating on Beyonce and Solange attacked him in defense of her sister. Idk I feel similar vibes with this situation, because Bella is involved no matter how much people try to absolve her of her role in this. She even chose to be photographed with Daniel afterwards, exhibiting no remorse.

Obviously Bella didn’t attack Zayn herself, but her good friend (who she was seen with 2 days later) did attack Zayn very violently. And it could be regarding Zarry, or it could be regarding something else. But for him to attack Zayn while being Bella’s friend, it just strikes me that he thought he was justified in doing so, almost like he felt Zayn had done something wrong to the Hadids and deserved to be beat-up. That’s just my personal feelings right now.

The DJ guy didn’t even have the notion to refrain from fighting Zayn because of who Zayn was as a celebrity, or even on behalf of the fact that Bella is essentially his sister-in-law. In a way, that illustrates for me that Zayn means nothing to Bella if her friends feel it’s ok to do this and then casually hang with her afterwards. There is a reason for that, and we must keep our eyes open for more info.

Does Gigi Hadid Know?

SIDE NOTE: Just a quick reminder that the first chapter of Neon Red (the sequel to This Thing Upon Me) will be out here on Wattpad in a few days!

DISCLAIMER: If you’re a Zigi stan or a Gigi sympathizer, you definitely shouldn’t read this. it might deeply annoy you.

Over on the Random Discussion Post a few other Zarries and I brainstormed ideas about a post depicting all the ways it seemed like Gigi has been “reacting” to Harry’s mere existence, so to speak. And boy is there some undeniable material! However, something struck me this morning (as I sat picking my nose) essentially that: a post titled “Gigi Copying Harry” kind of sounds silly and would be undercutting the broader issue here. That issue being: Does Gigi know? How much does she know? And if she knows, how does that affect her relationship with Zayn? How does it affect the way she views herself vs Harry?

‘Does Gigi know?‘ is a question I’ve been asked multiple times, and a question which I myself have issued to my friends in private on occasion. The general consensus is: “Yah, it’s clear this bish knows, because she reacts to too many things concerning Zarry and especially Harry.”

As a general skeptic myself (believe it or not) and one who will argue up and down that Zayn’s family does not know about Harry, and that Perrie didn’t know about them either, I PROMISE you Gigi is not only aware of Zarry’s relationship, but she is also aware of US on some level. That’s right Zarries, Gigi and her team are watching you, and they feel intimidated by the information you propagate so endearingly on a hourly basis across all major and minor social media platforms!

But I’m not here just to assume things. Let’s take a look at the hard facts that support this premise. In doing so, I’ll take an idea (Gigi Copying Harry) that some may have criticized as juvenile, ludicrous, or the product of a deluded conspiracy-theory-riddled shipper mind, and make it a broader more intellectual pursuit of the answer to one question: Does Gigi Hadid know about Zarry?

I posit that she absolutely does.

PAGE ONE: The Battle For Publicity (Harry & Zayn vs Gigi)

PAGE TWO: How Gigi’s “Knowing” Affects Her Confidence

Whether or not Zayn knows that Gigi knows is an entirely different matter altogether. I’m not too sure about that one. I’m still struggling with the idea of Zayn sitting ANYONE down and explaining to them what took place between he and Harry, and I’d wager she would be last on that list of people. Meaning, the probability of him informing her of his relationship with Harry seems slim to non-existent. For the same reasons I believe he wouldn’t tell his family, I imagine he wouldn’t tell her either. Mostly out of pride, but also because he is so dependent on her and her family to create a media smoke screen to shield him that he would never risk threatening that.

Now I could be wrong about him not knowing that she knows, of course, but I just feel like their relationship is rather superficial and has always (inarguably) been publicity-driven. So conversations of a ruinous nature would not take place between them, imo. Don’t get me wrong, I do believe they are a PR couple and I do believe she is a beard, but I don’t believe she is a contractual beard. And I believe for a while she was an unwitting beard (like Perrie.) Meaning she was with Zayn while unaware he was still struggling with feelings over another man (which he most likely acted upon at sometime during his relationship with her from 2017-2018??)

I think she was down for the clout in 2016, so they were paired up by their teams for publicity purposes (probably because she pursued him like she admittedly said she did. She was a genuine social climber and desperate clout chaser in 2016, and went through 3 different musicians in 1 year.) After doing the music video for “Pillowtalk” together and seeing how successful it was, I think they developed a relationship where they were co-dependent in satisfying each other’s needs on many different levels, mainly clout for her and a cover-up for him.

When I think of Gigi knowing about Zarry, I think of her knowing in the sense of a woman who discovered her husband has a dark, humiliating secret—like some really phucked up kinks or proclivities—but she is so prideful, so desperate for validation, so desperate for domestic achievement, and so devoid of self-confidence that she chooses never to confront him about it or address the situation head-on. What she does instead is makes a concerted effort to conceal and suppress it. I personally believe (and have observed) that Gigi is on a warpath to manipulate and gain mastery over how both she and Zayn are perceived by the general public on quite a disturbing level.

Gigi watching Zarries spread theories about her “manz.”

My first thought of her trying to control Zayn’s image was when Zayn got into it with Jake Paul (two grown ass men) and she jumped in to do damage control like his mommy and handled it for him. Emasculation much? She also handled it with extreme overkill and such a cringey, transparent attempt to let the world know she and Zayn were a couple again. “Cause he has me.” Stfu, no one cares.

Another example is how she jumped in to do damage control after “Ziam Is Real” trended on Twitter back on November 30, 2020. The next day she posted that awkward photo of Zayn on her stomach and of course successfully got “Zigi” trending as vengeance for the Ziams’ antics, which had almost exposed her manz.

The worst thing about this picture (apart from the obvious) is that people think this shit is cute. It’s not. It’s completely staged for public consumption. It was staged with social media in mind. Playing to social media this desperately is one of the most degrading and superficial things a couple could do. Just like this kiss picture:

It is also staged, and equally as pathetic. Worryingly, they don’t have real moments. They have photo ops (photo opportunities.) They literally sit down and plot like “Ok, let’s take this kind of picture right now.” That is undeniable. No one (absolutely no one) in their right mind or in an authentic, deep, sincere moment will pull out a camera and say: let’s take a picture of us kissing, instead oh of you know, actually just enjoying the freaking kiss!

And the fans never think of the logistics behind pictures like this, they just eat it up and beg for more fakery. That’s how empty Zigi’s relationship is. What are they without public validation? Gigi’s Instagram feed betrays they are nothing sincere. Cameras don’t just magically manifest in your hand when you’re kissing, so this picture alone is proof positive of how calculated their relationship is.

Even with someone as innocent as a baby, she too is being used as a pawn in this twisted game. For Zayn she is a coverup for the aspects of his life he doesn’t want the public to know about. She is also an achievement for his family to feel satisfied he is on the right path and following the dictates of convention. For Gigi, she is perpetual leverage used on IG to gain media attention and praise. We have seen her utilize that leverage nonstop since before the baby was born.

Imagine holding your super fragile few-weeks-old baby like this and not supporting her neck, just so you can take a fucking mirror selfie. But hey, priorities!

And to ensure that the hype surrounding the baby lasts as long as possible, she refuses to show her face, pretending to be some noble-minded super mommy who will protect her child from the evils of social media and the paparazzi, while also taking a million pictures of her for social media and parading her about on the crowded streets of NYC in full view of the paparazzi!

If she actually cared a modicum about protecting her child from the media, she would not post her at all. But gasp, that would require the sacrifice of not being praised continually in the comments and in articles for what an amazing supermom she is! So she dangles Khai in front of everyone as bait. As a tease to keep them guessing and keep them engaged, because they’re braindead and can’t see through her sickening ploy.

No one is saying she can’t take as many pictures of her child as she wants, but she needs to drop the bullshit act of hiding her face to “protect her” when she is still willfully exposing her nonstop (without her consent) to the very people she claims to be protecting her from, all for the sake of attention and likes. Someone needs to call out the bullshit.

“We’re so pRiVaTe we’re not gonna show her face to protect her from the fans and the media and help her live a nOrMaL liFe. But I’m still just gonna post her like 5000 times to the media and fans in the first few months of her life.”

Anyway, I digress. So, she posted this cringe photo to get the media talking about her and Zayn again after that Ziam debacle.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. She bought out the big guns—Zayn interacting with her while she was visibly pregnant, something the fans had never seen before—to undo the damage the Ziams had done. Lmfao, she knew people were clicking that Ziam tag and seeing shocking images of Zayn with another man, and she was terrified it would result in them stumbling into the deep waters of Zarry as well. Which would be very, very bad, because Harry said:

And then he said:

“I am Yellow-Metal”

As far as her knowing about Zarry and doing nothing about it, I believe she doesn’t’ have the stonessss (**in my Italian accent**) to confront Zayn about what she has discovered, or to accept the truth of it herself. So she tosses up all these smoke screens on her social media, trying to delude herself and everyone around her that everything is fine, which will inspire the media (and her Zigi cheerleaders) to fawn about her and Zayn’s relationship incessantly. She believes if she overwhelms the public with enough photos of her and Zayn together (despite him looking wooden) that it’ll be enough to smother the truth of Zarry into nonexistence.

But here’s where she’s wrong. Harry Styles exists, and this man has ENORMOUS balls. (Wait, I meant that figuratively, not literally. I mean…I guess they could also be literally and physically enormous too—that’s a thing that could be true. I wouldn’t know. I’ve never seen them. I’d like to…I—) And Harry is not here to play games. He spoke directly to us with Fine Line, and I am convinced he did that in part to immortalize the truth of his and Zayn’s relationship in his art (a massive record-breaking, Grammy winning, chart-topping career milestone btw) but also because he wanted those who already KNOW to have a certain level of confirmation and therefore conviction. And in that he may feel some sort of solidarity with us.

He knows he can rely on us to just get it, unlike the general public. Our celebrating his love across the internet catches appallingly little publicity, but it’s still impactful enough for him to not feel alone in his knowledge of his relationship with Zayn, because being subjected to that degree of secrecy and alienation for so long can be harmful. So he knows he can change certain lyrics to express certain things, and wear certain jewelry, and excessively use the color yellow (Yellow-Metal) and we will get it and celebrate his love with him. It’s his safe way of screaming about his love from a mountaintop that few know the location of, while also working to avoid overtly exposing Zayn. (“We’ll be a fine line…we’ll be alright…”)

We also can’t ignore that Zayn has done his fair share of speaking to us too, it’s just that he so often lets Gigi’s antics overshadow the things he does, and there also seems to be no definitive end to his living a double life with her. Even so, he drops clues of his ongoing affection every now and then, and sometimes they are major: Yellow-Metal.

Of course they are done for Harry’s benefit, but he can also rest assured that the people who already KNOW about them will pick up on these homages too. Zayn tends to play it safe with his “clues” sometimes, so that he can always maintain some level of plausible deniability (a safety net where he can fall back and just call us crazy and deluded if ever directly questioned about this stuff, unlike Harry) and that annoys me so much, but it’s still clear that he does occasionally make references to Harry in his art.

I will say, I do miss when Zayn wasn’t so deep in the sunken place with the Hadids and wrote songs like “Dusk Till Dawn” and went to Madison Square Garden and got the Lotus and The Rose tattooed to his skull, but lately if feels like things have changed. He acts so frightened and makes so many references to being watched and acts so much like a hostage that people are truly beginning to wonder if he is actually being extorted by someone? Basically being forced to stay exactly where he is with the Hadids, possibly under the threat of being exposed if he leaves?? And if that’s the case…well Zayn, looks like the only way to free yourself from this conundrum is to come clean! Take the power back from your blackmailers by exposing the truth yourself. We are here to support you!

Zayn making sure we got all the clues we need to uncover the truth of Zarry and help free him.

PAGE TWO: How Gigi Knowing Affects Her Confidence

Neon Red

The long-awaited sequel to: This Thing Upon Me.

Author of his own destiny at the start of 2016, Zayn Malik enjoys the spoils of his meteoric chart success and a steamy relationship with one of fashion’s fastest growing prospects, Gigi Hadid. On paper, the media-adored pair seem perfectly matched. Both marketing ambassadors to powerhouse brands and making history side by side in music and in fashion, their relationship has undoubtedly propelled their careers to new heights. However, when the dust settles and the cameras are turned off, few are aware of the ills that reign behind closed doors. Zayn is battling a ruinous secret he carried with him from the band, and it will take the reemergence of a figure from his past to reveal his heart is in total disrepair.



Harry Styles

Liam Payne

Louis Tomlinson

Niall Horan

Gigi Hadid

Perrie Edwards


Chapter 1 (Coming Soon!)

DISCLAIMER: The sequel Neon Red will be published on Wattpad after all for the benefit of the inline comments. I have the ability to use inline comments here, but to implement them takes a whole lot of work and time on my part, which I don’t have. Wattpad however automatically adds inline comments to every paragraph and line, so we’ll stick with that for now! Link to the upcoming story: Neon Red.

S.H.E. Harry’s Cosmetic Line

Harry’s is coming for the cosmetic and fragrance world!

I’ve just heard exclusively that Alessandro Michelle (creative director of Gucci) is shocked and feels betrayed that Harry has been playing him all along, and stealing corporate intelligence to outdo him with his own line.

Alessandro has since ordered that all remaining inventory of his fragrance collab with Harry be tossed out. Look, I don’t make the rules. I just deliver the news. This is a sad end to a once iconic friendship.

DISCLAIMER: This is a joke…

Who else is here for beauty influencer Harry?! If this is real and he actually does this, it would crack so many heads and end so many careers!! Harry is quite literally trying to take over the world right now. He needs to have several seats.

It all began when this fan posted a tweet on May 28th about Harry’s new company being registered in the UK, reportedly called Pleased As Holdings Limited (whatever the hell that means.) Apparently his longtime assistant Emma Spring is the co-director of this company as well.

Then a few days later on May 30th, Mike Adam (radio DJ and huge proponent of all the 1D boys solo careers over the years) tweeted out his own half-baked version of the news, claiming a trademark had been filed for Harry’s cosmetic line, which is speculated to be called “Styles, Harry Edwards.” This is what birthed all the rumors that the company would therefore naturally be called S.H.E.

Yup, that’s about it. Very little fact, very much rumor and speculation. Unfortunately for everyone involved, there seems to be no real, reliable source for this information, apart from the screenshot of the registry for Pleased As Holdings Limited. However, the speculation that it would be a cosmetics company may be warranted, as it is found within this registry towards the bottom.

However, the speculation that it will be called Styles, Harry Edward is easily debunked, since it seems to be derived from the manner in which his name is written at the top of the registry. Oh my lord, don’t people know that a lot of business documents list the last name first? Hahaha oh boy—I hate getting excited for nothing (as far as the name S.H.E. is concerned, but I am still excited if Harry is launching a cosmetics line!)

So that’s pretty much the end of this story, which was all generated by the rabid Twitter rumor mill. Take from it what you will, and remember nothing is confirmed yet, least of all that it will be called S.H.E.

But hey, at least we still have this:

Some of these replies are killing me:

“Yellow Metal” By Zayn

DISCLAIMER: Yellow Metal = Gold. As in Green & Gold. You’re an absolute clown if you’re still denying Zarry. Especially after Fine Line.

I don’t know what’s happening. Zayn is a rapper now, Daniaal is leaking songs, and this one (Yellow Metal) is the length of an entire album. Help. I just woke up to people telling me about this on the Discussion Post (thanks btw, I appreciate the people who bring news here! 🙂 )

Zayn + Daniaal (Daniaal’s Instagram)

It’s very apparent Zayn gave him permission to post this. This is the direct link: Click here!

This is a link to a full lyric thread (with convenient timestamps) that is the most accurate set of lyrics I’ve personally seen so far (which many people shared here yesterday. Thank you!) A lot of the other transcripts are very off:

Zayn apparently sampled a song called “Qudeo Malo” in “Yellow Metal,” the intro of which samples the Charles Bukowski poem called “Style.” This is funny because Harry actually used the same poem for his intro to “Golden” for his December 2019 show, and we all know Charles Bukowski is one of Harry’s favorite writers. (Credit to the people who discovered this.)

Was this deliberate on Zayn’s part, or is this supposed to be another of those cosmic coincidences??

My interpretation of some of the lyrics are below.

Also, I might as well add it here! The Sequel is officially on the way, beginning in June. It will be called “Neon Red” based off of a lyric in Zayn’s “Tightrope.” Here is the first look at the cover:

This book will pick up right where This Thing Upon Me left off, in February 2017, and span several years until 2019. It will be told entirely from Zayn’s perspective, and will cover flashbacks from late 2013-2015. I plan to release a few chapters in the first week of June, and then take my time to build out the story from there. Thanks for all your support!!


First thing we need to observe here is the title. “Yellow-Metal” is another name for Gold. It sounds very much like Zayn is adopting his role in the whole “Green & Gold” unit. He is referring to himself as the Gold/Yellow part.

I can’t possibly analyze every line of this song. It’s practically a podcast. It’s 24min long. I believe it is multiple songs added into one file. I tried to transcribe it for you all, got two full pages down and had been doing it for about half an hour, when I realized I was still only at minute-3. And it’s infuriating because I’m a word-whore so I like to read and understand every single word of the things I consume. Especially song lyrics.

I like to let them marinate inside my brain and heart so I can get a fuller understanding of the motivating emotions behind the song, beyond just the initial listen. The trouble is, Zayn can mumble sometimes, so he can be incredibly difficult to transcribe. I listened to every line of what I did write like 5 times each, which is why it becomes so time consuming. So I gave up.

What I will say before we begin, is that I’m impressed. Super impressed. He sounds really good, he has flow, the delivery is impeccable, and his lyricism astounds me. It grows leaps and bounds anytime we hear something new from him. So I commend the effort he put into writing this, regardless of whether or not I will ever fully understand what it is he is trying to convey.

Here is my failed attempt at a transcript below:

Dark matter like paint splatters they fit better. The old saying, the way it goes: better the devil you do, than you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levels my heart metal. I can’t settle I’m part troubled and not subtle. I fuck good, so fuck cuddles (?) burst bubbles. The thirst levels at new highs, I down bubbles and got better till I felt high and my face puzzled. Felt mumbled far-strung and your floors wooden. The thought might be (???) of fortnight, and I thought right. It’s all bark and it’s no bite. I’m torn (?) still embarking on a dream. Took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I seen. Heart lives on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings so I put them in a piece on my chest. At peace, no rest. Flip this on its head. Rip the script up now flipping dark things. Slip the shit again. Fakers all around me and they living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need these mean queens control the scenes. They take a seat cause the span (?) is weak and they spam the news (?) where the family need and the planet bleeds the damaged trees. It’s never leaving till we are saints so fuck the fence. The told did stuck in color it’s fuck the feds. You must be worth it I mean it you know you had (???) neve guilty of judging. I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged but it’s been long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the lyrics to feeling timid I’m telling them who they mimic why healing them like a clinic I’m too swagged they get no women. Still just fucking girls lost in their own world. Jurassic nothing is vermin kicking the game I’m swerving these losers are never learning, my fire’s forever burning. Adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you. These jokers are always feigning they slaughter us (?) for a reason I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch how this loser’s winning in waters too deep to swim in like combat I see me killing now mortal without a limit, flawless and feeling lawless. Their prisoner now to the gimmicks my (???????) set to swim in. I’m watching you bitches plummet no matches now for my cunning. You rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running-running your jaws, stunting. Colored and straw something I think you’re a poor effort. Definite tour (?) definite I hate (????) living near my element riding it like sentinel never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take Benadryl, keeping it green and general. Think you remain relevant look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts killing themselves with sedatives in comparison to Eminem you’re feeling feminine and politically correct. Still jumping on my neck and I never give a fuck what they say about my shit. I’ve been moving things in my mind like (??) do. Memories make me wonder if they amount to you. What’s the purpose that you do this, are you hoping that they learn? I like to say I’m done but it’s getting up on my nerve. Looking at my life saying what do I deserve? It’s hard to say I know when we’re walking through the dirt. Talking about do nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough in works. I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off at work. Shit-chatting is the usual I’m taking with this clerk. I beg you don’t include me I might write it on my shirt so that every time they see me that they always know it’s worth. My life is potent I did some fucked shit till they took notice. Weren’t no hocus pocus it was hard work that got me heard so I put in a graph like google maps; got the whole earth. Riding round till my dome hurt. Taking over like the Mormons (?)

Now I will instead cherry pick the lyrics that stand out to me the most. Not necessarily the Zarry lyrics only, but any sentiments that are clear enough for me to feel confident I understand what he is saying.

The old saying, the way it goes: better the devil you do, than you don’t know. Basically he is referencing the old adage “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” Which according to Merriam Webster means: “—used to say that it is better to deal with a difficult person or situation one knows than with a new person or situation that could be worse.” For me, this could mean many things. But it also could very well mean he’s choosing to stick to the Hadids despite how bad things have become, because the familiarity makes the situation easier, as opposed to…idk, finding a new beard lol. I made a similar point in my recent Q&A video. He’s sticking with Gigi because imo if he leaves her he’s done. No other woman will put up with this toxic dysfunctional confusing shit. It’s either that or be alone completely, or be with Harry, which will expose him.

The thirst levels at new highs, I down bubbles and got better till I felt high and my face puzzled.  This sounds like a metaphor for yearning or wants in life, which he describes as “thirst” and then he uses the extended metaphor of himself drinking “bubbles” which typically refers to champagne?? So alcohol. And he still felt high of course because he was now drunk. (Side note, I’m so sorry, but this made me think of Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory when Charlie and his grandad drink the soda and then they start floating and they reach the ceiling, and then they have to burp to get down. Ahhh, I tell ya. Good times, good times.)

It’s all bark and it’s no bite. Hmm…could he be referring to himself here? I think so. This is what some of us constantly accuse Zayn of. Talking a big game (like in Tightrope) and then doing nothing, or falling back on his old media gimmicks with Gigi. He never actually makes the move he keeps alluding to.

Heart lives on the sleeve. Indicates vulnerability and exposing your feelings for the world to see all the time. This is very Harry, and it’s very unlike Zayn who is a cloaked, tight-lipped, introverted person. Someone else also said it could be referencing the two hearts Harry has tattooed on his arm (which he kissed for Zayn) and I agree.

Took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. This instantly puts me in mind of the band. Almost like he felt he was a sacrificial lamb of sorts and his leaving alleviated their burden somehow. Or like he felt he was holding the band down with his style, or complicating things with his inability to fit in. Or the team could be another group he is a part of, where he similarly feels he needed to “take one for the team” or suffer for the team, such as his family perhaps?

Fakers all around me and they living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. Is he finally starting to wake up and see he is surrounded by a family of leeches and clout-chasers who are forcing/encouraging him to play make believe and play house with Gigi?

There’s no need these mean queens control the scenes. Lol is he talking about the gay mafia? They’re real, you know. Watch your back, Zayn. He could also be referring to Hollywood elites that run things behind the scenes. This seems to be the second reference he’s made to gays in Hollywood, like in Calamity. He says something like “I’ve seen actors at the BAFTAS be more straight.” Sounds like some internalized homophobia, or a bit of projection going on there. Who’s gonna tell him?

I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged but it’s been long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the lyrics to feeling timid I’m telling them who they mimic why healing them like a clinic I’m too swagged they get no women. Alright, sir, chill. This seems to be a major reference to the band days, and how he would be discouraged from growing facial hair because it made him look older than the other boys. And he seems to be bragging about his songwriting ability as compared to other people.

I’m swerving these losers are never learning, my fire’s forever burning. Adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you. This could be a hit at his dad? Or even just at other people in his life whose paths he is reluctant to follow and whose positions he doesn’t seem to respect. Quite derogatory and arrogant language from Zayn in this whole thing.

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch how this loser’s winning in waters too deep to swim in like combat I see me killing now mortal without a limit, flawless and feeling lawless. This is a cool line. But what are his “new beginnings” I wonder. He seems to be doing all the same shit to me, with a baby added on top.

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches now for my cunning. Ngl, that line was kinda hard, yo.

…living near my element riding it like sentinel never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take Benadryl, keeping it green and general. Kind of dark, but I love the lyricism here. Genius stuff. A sentinel is a soldier btw. Fentanyl is a highly addictive, highly potent drug that is killing a lot of addicts in America right now. It’s being laced in a lot of pills and other substances. Benadryl is allergy medicine that can make you very drowsy. Keeping it green and general means he’s sticking to weed, I believe. So for everyone speculating that he’s doing hard drugs he’s saying stfu hahaha.

Memories make me wonder if they amount to you. I feel like when he mentions memories he is referring to Harry. Idk I just feel that way. Like when he opened Calamity talking about “nostalgia.”

I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough in works. I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off at work. Shit-chatting is the usual I’m talking with this clerk. I beg you don’t include me I might write it on my shirt so that every time they see me that they always know it’s worth.

This last stanza seems like it could be about Harry really. Like Zayn is tried of the struggle to contain everything, and tired of being pressured to expose everything at the same time? Idk, just a vague thought I had. The threat to put something on a shirt sounds almost like a metaphor, for exposing something???

I did some fucked shit till they took notice. What is he referring to? Leaving the band? Leaving Islam? What did he do? Or is it referring to something messed up he did behind the scenes that the public is unaware of?

(Music changes @ 4:00)

It’s been a while since I smiled at a milestone. He maybe isn’t finding much joy in his achievements anymore? Why though?

Me against the world. He still feels like an Island. Super alienated. Hmmm…

Overcome all these stunts that I pulled. Ya don’t say.

This life it don’t give you no armor. A lot on this earth that could harm ya. Yes we know, sir.

Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving. Sounds like another band reference.

I’ve had enough of being my own enemy. It’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain. Struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on the mic. I ain’t dropping this for fame I need this time like therapy to keep me sane. Music remains his only true therapeutic outlet, and it leads me to believe he does a lot of these rap songs to express himself. Like Calamity or Lucozade. But what strikes me the most is there are so many indications that on some level he suffers from a kind of PTSD from his time in the band (which we already know was quite traumatic for him as far as his mental health and the stress levels and the eating disorder and the general feelings of rejection and alienation.)

Don’t say I can’t communicate when you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s reverence cause I’m looking at your face. Who is he talking to? Harry?

Can’t justify mistakes. Like every man that made them seems I ain’t the one to blame. Lying to myself only had so much to gain. At least he’s acknowledging that he’s been lying to himself and possibly shifting blame away from himself for his mistakes.

Surround myself with real ones and you feel the plastic melt. He keeps talking about fakery, I would love to see what comes of this mindset. Will he remain in the clutches of the Hadids? Will he return to his family? Since Daniaal posted this, I wonder if it is any indication.

(7:40 Music changes)

Feeling trapped, this industry is a cage. Yeah, we know.

(8:30 Music changes)

(Side note: I love how he references ’93 like he was born in the 60s or something lol)

Seems to be referencing the state of the world and how conflicted he is about speaking out on certain issues. He references facing racism which we know he has, and getting kicked out of school for fighting or “hitting” the kids who called him “Paki” He also references how he was made to believe he was the issue when all along it was the people who were discriminating against him, I believe.

How can I be civil when they got me by the throat. This is so good. He even makes reference to people I believe telling him his skin is “too light” to be discriminated against. And he’s like, ok MF how about you try to take my name up on a flight and see what happens. Which is true. When the band was first starting out, I believe his book references how they would give him trouble, basically racial profiling him at airport security. And it happened more than once I believe.

He goes on to talk about the evils of the music industry and how he’s overcome so much, and how writing has helped him through these things.

(11:30 Music changes)


Zayn’s Leaked Song

Apparently there’s a new leaked song by Zayn called “Leave Before You Love Me”. This is apparently a demo Zayn did for a potential collab with DJ Marshmello, which was eventually passed on to the Jonas Brothers? Please correct me if I’m wrong. Here’s the Jonas Brother’s version which was released on May 21, 2021. Of course it doesn’t compare to Zayn’s, but it’s worth a listen lol.

Their version is lovely too (it sounds a bit more up-tempo and more committed to the retro vibes than Zayn’s mellow, less polished demo version) and the song is sonically more fitting for their style, in my opinion. The lyrics, however, are so absurdly fitting for Zayn as a person—it’s wild. I resonate with them more when Zayn sings it, because he tends to deliver everything with an unforgiving emotionality. His vocals are just too rich and overflowing with…melancholy? I wonder if he had a hand in writing it? Unfortunately I’ve seen no proof of that thus far, but we should all keep searching lol.

I saw everyone talking about this on the Discussion Post so I brought it over here to further that discussion.

Reportedly, Zayn’s cousins reacted to the cover on IG.

This is Daniaal Malik, so he seems to be a trusted source:

Why do the Jonas brothers get all of Zayn’s sloppy seconds??? For real, it’s just like “Once Chance To Dance” Hahahahaha

**record screeches to a halt** Oh shit, mentioning sloppy seconds is hella awkward because…well:

Nevermind! I’m gonna leave that alone. What a sticky situation! Suffice it to say, Zayn has a strange history with the Jonas Brothers. Well, with Joe. It’s mainly with Joe. Joe is the issue here. He steals all Zayn’s songs, so Zayn just turned right around and stole his girl….or something like that. Revisionist history!

Oh dear, things just keeps getting more awkward here, don’t they? Yikes:

Sheesh, how do so many of Zayn’s songs get leaked? Is he doing it himself? Are they songs he wants out there even if they don’t officially become apart of his discography? I have so many questions, sir. For now, I suppose I need to direct my questions at everyone else.

1.) Did Zayn write this? How can we be assured that he did?

2.) When was it written and recorded? Is there any confirmation that he was working with any of these producers recently? I can’t find any.

3.) Why didn’t he release it himself?

4.) What do you think of the song? Any relation to Zarry? I personally feel the lyrics are incredibly fitting for a certain time period (cough 2015 cough) but if there’s no proof that Zayn wrote this, then it’s just reckless speculation on my part to relate it to Zarry, and maybe the lyrics are just a coincidence?

It is quite wild to listen to though, hearing him express these things that sound so raw and close to home. Although he’s talking about leaving someone in the dead of night (gosh the imagery of that is poignant as hell, especially if you picture an ill-lit hotel room in Hong Kong **violently jots down notes for the sequel**) there is a vulnerability and honesty here that I respect. Again, even though he’s ditching someone, I totally get it. “Gotta leave before you love me…” is a relatable sentiment, and I also feel it’s very Zayn. “I’d rather be lonely than wrapped around your body too tight…”

The vivid lyrics about being “naked” and all the stuff about the “bed” in general are very Zayn as well. So is wanting to stick to the physical chemistry, as opposed to risking getting his heart broken by involving emotions like “love.” So is the lyric about being “on the edge.” That was Zayn’s intro to “Mind Of Mine” and it’s also where I believe his head was in 2015. Lastly, I feel comfortable insisting this carries a Zaynesque sentiment (which it fits my personal Zarry theory **maniacal laughter**) because it’s the exact same sentiment he expresses in the uber emotional “Golden” from 2015.

Listening to these to songs (LBYLM and Golden) back to back (which is not recommended btw if you value your sanity and peace of mind) makes the respective lyrics unbelievably more dynamic. Almost like we’ve suddenly been gifted with a 360 degree image of what was once only a one-dimensional notion about Zarry’s shared past. Then enters Harry’s response to Zayn’s “Golden,” also boldly titled “Golden,” which further paints a picture and adds clarity a few years down the road.

Oh boy, I can’t breathe-


I hope and I hope you’ll still be fine
I know that it’s bright, look through the light and see
It’s meant to be
I know that it’s bright, look through the light and see
It’s meant to be


Take me back to the light…I know you were way too bright for me

Listening to these three songs back-to-back are a killshot. Just don’t do it. Just don’t listen to them in the same day, or month, or year for crying out loud! They pull at my heart strings like a bish. It’s just so damn….ROMANTIC? Gah!!

Curses! We still have no clue if Zayn even wrote this song, or when. So relating it to Zarry right now feels like a stretch. I’ll leave it at that. Would love to hear your thoughts!

Updates For Website & Sequel

Hello! Just wanted to make a few announcements!

1. For those asking, I am working on The Sequel. I hope to have a few chapters out by the first week of June. However, after that, I can’t promise weekly updates just yet. Probably every few weeks I’ll be able to put new chapters out, because unlike the last book, nothing has been written in advance. I’ll be writing it all as we move along. So it is coming. Thank you!

2. The website will host The Sequel whenever it gets here next month. However, I will still be uploading excerpts (portions) of every chapter onto Wattpad like usual with a link to the full chapter that leads here.

3. We have a new Homepage for the website. Instead of the homepage leading to the Posts Archive page, it will now take you straight to the Discussions Post, since that is always the most viewed post on the website. Please drop questions, new proof, and content requests there, as I will be checking it everyday and it is the homepage now. The old discussion posts will still have all the old comments, but will now link to the new homepage.

4. The website has a new comment section! Finally I found something with much better functionality. It should allow you to upvote comments if you want, and hit “read more” for longer comments, so that the website and comment threads will be easier to navigate. I believe you can also attach images. And you now have a window of about 15min to edit comments if you need to! Check it out here!

5. I would love to hear suggestions/feedback about my potential book title for The Sequel. I was thinking about naming it “Tightrope” lol. I’ve got nothing else in mind. Please leave thought on this tentative title here.


This is the post archive which contains all the proof and theory posts. Going forward these may appear in a different area. I’m still figuring that out lol.


Thanks for all your time, comments, and support while I figure this website out. You’ve been amazing and I’m so appreciative of you!